I had to learn the hard way (several times) that just because people can sit around and laugh with you, listen to your problems, go out with you, chill with you, etc. does not mean they are your friend! People will stay around as long as you feed whichever part of their ego is feeling empty.
How to tell if someone is really your friend or just there for an ego feeding? Well, firstly, if you’re questioning the friendship, that’s a sign in itself. Secondly, pay attention to how they comment/compliment you. A real friend will let you know when you’re doing your thing, when you’re slipping, when you look good (or bad if it applies, but respectfully). An ego feeder will compliment you, but with a tone of hating. An ego feeder will also support any of your bad habits. A friend that is envious of you unbeknownst to you is not a friend, just a fun hater! Last sure sign of an ego feeder is how they defend you when an outsider brings up your name. A real friend defends you and doesn’t let that fly. An ego feeder, on the other hand, will let people say whatever about you, whether it is true or not.
Energy is so important and so contagious. Ego feeders add nothing to your life. They deplete you of your own energy. They can make you unaware of your light and greatness due to them dimming and diminishing it.
I think it is important to note also that a friend doesn’t necessarily equate to a person/people whom you see and talk to everyday. Real friends:
- Check on you
- Love/take care of themselves
- Tell you the truth
- Are genuinely happy for you, not only when they are benefitted
- Listen to you
- Respect you on all levels
- Add to your life
- Challenge you to be your best
- Don’t let you go thru struggles alone
Outgrowing a friendship is like outgrowing anything. So when you realize it is time to let go, do yourself a favor and do it! Trust me, it’ll do you a lot of good. It may hurt but you don’t experience pain for the hell of it.